Rumbled

It was always going to happen at some point.

Rumbled.

Was the subject line of an email I received last night. I didn't need to open it to understand its contents.

So. Date report No.6 has not been written by me. Oh no. No no no.

The least I could do for the unmasker of the phantom Match.com dater is give her the privilege of thundering me a great dose of my own unpleasant medicine. And I must having the tables turned is not a nice experience. But hey ho.

I haven't changed a word of her report, I haven't omitted a single thing, I haven't added or embellished. I have split it up into nice, bitesize paragraphs though. Sorry.

And, for I wish not to muddy the waters, all I will say in response to the following is this - my rudeboy accent was in no way exaggerated. It was awesome. Aiight?


SIXTH DATE REPORT - 19/07/09

'Match.com. It attempts to help you sort the wheat from the chaffing chaff. Makes for more auspicious dating. You find people with similar interests. I, for example, have a love for the theatre and will look twice at a 'wink' or an email if they too share this as an interest. But beware, dum dum duuuuuuuuuuuum! (dramatic music), just you beware potential dating bloggers that the next person you meet might, let's say, share a mutual friend on the theatre scene. They might know someone who knows someone who MIGHT just rumble you and your blog.

Yes avid readers, this has been the fate of young 'Romeo'. I was said date and 'Romeo' has humbly allowed me to write this entry for him....I think he's a little scared. I think he thinks I'm going to mention the fact that he talked in an exaggerated rudeboy accent for at LEAST two thirds of the date. I won't.

So, we met at Latitude Festival and here is my account.

In our brief email prelude whence we discovered that we were to spend the weekend in a the same field in Southwold, 'Romeo' had suggested we;

"could meet late on in the weekend (to keep awkward bumping-into incidents to a minimum if it all goes horrifically wrong)."

'Ok', I thought, 'possibly a tad cynical but I'll forget the pressure of it for a while and I will have plenty of really great stuff to talk about then'. Friends there are suggesting it would have been better to meet earlier on because, lets face it, I will look and smell better. I think it's pretty brave to go on a date having not showered for 3 days. Yep.

Or stupid. But it's happening.

We meet on the Sunday. I feel like a pig shat in my head, by all accounts he does too. He asks how he will recognise me. I assure him that he will not be able to miss me then proceed to sit timidly on a log, in the woods, pretending to watch some theatre that I've dragged my friends to in the rain. We eventually work out where the other sodden person is and I proceed to look passable in a kagool. Hmmm.

He brings a friend. Lets call him Mercutio. Mercutio works out he has seen me on stage in London in a play. We talk about this and discover we've a mutual friend. (The mutual friend is the little birdie that later told me about this blog). All get on extremely well with soggy beer cups and even soggier grey matter. This is great! But, I'm nervous and my friends do a lot of the talking....Now, although I'm an actress this does, contrary to most of the general population's belief, allow me to be shy in certain circumstances, especially upon meeting strangers in the woods! I'm fine with this. Romeo is talkative and confident. I try hard to feel comfortable and conversationally on fire! despite the fact that I am on a date having not showered for some time, supporting an excruciating hangover, with four friends, in a gale. He has a contagious laugh. The presence of my friends and his adds to my need to impress. The need to impress suppresses me. I remember a lesson at drama school - the more you try to be interesting and funny, the less you will be.

But this is not a performance, this is me trying to be me. I wish we had met alone. But for the rest of the evening we hung out as new group of festival friends. It got drunker, we laughed a lot and I genuinely had a great time. I will aim to continue this friendship as I'm finding this all pretty darn amusing. My first blog - see what rich experiences online dating can help you stumble into....you bugger!

The End'